vet-picture

Well, everyone seems to be taking their clothes off and claiming it’s for work. It all started over lunch the other day with my wonderful friend Hanneke. Hanneke is finding her inner being now she has hit 70. For example, her children gave her some money for her 70th birthday to treat herself. So she did. Her daughter was seriously unimpressed by the tattoo, although I found it very tasteful indeed, if a little larger than I’d anticipated. So, we were sitting discussing fab apps that are useful for work, as one does, and I was just downloading a google swipe keyboard for her when a notification popped up. I tried hard not to look, but it was impossible as the text practically slapped me across the face. “Laura will be naked today”. You see why it rather grabbed my attention. I asked if perhaps she needed to get somewhere as Laura might be getting cold waiting for her, but Hanneke assured me that her presence was not required. “She’s for Tim”. I thought this was terribly generous of her and was sure her husband would be delighted. I asked her to tell me more about Laura and whether Tim had her regularly. Apparently, she is 20, has long blonde hair and is slender. I immediately disliked her. She was at that moment draped over a settee in their lounge while Tim painted her… ahhh I thought! Hanneke then went on to say she had to be out at lunch as she had no desire to be around her husband as he rearranged the girl into interesting positions and encouraged her as his muse. I thought it all sounded rather exciting and terribly Parisienne. Then she reminded me it was Northampton. Settees in rooms without adequate heating and rain splashing as the cars go down the grey road outside are never conducive to an Impressionistic mood.

Today, I met up with the Children’s Air Ambulance fund raiser, Tracy (I’m a very proud Trustee). Over coffee , she informed me that she had received a large cheque from some vets in Northamptonshire. They had undertaken some naked modelling work, far too enthusiastically to my mind, in order to raise money. I asked to see some of the photos, purely for PR evaluation purposes naturally. I am a true professional. It was then I realised the sheer courage these men had shown. I am not sure I would deal with a stallion with my tackle out. You are never going to win that face off. The stallion is just going to judge you. They had wanted to do a nice presentation of the cheque with the helicopter and it had all been arranged. Tracy stood waiting for them outside with the helicopter and two of the crew in orange overalls. Then the two vets emerged, unexpectedly, in dressing gowns. They handed these to Tracy and strode proudly to the aircraft. Fortunately, it was a large cheque, and a cold day.

During coffee with another friend (I don’t drink coffee all the time, honestly. It’s all serious business networking), we discussed her husband, the gynaecologist. She said she had stopped thinking about it long ago. However, he had told me over dinner one night that women did often turn up in rather glamorous underwear, although he was unsure what practical help it was to their hospital experience. He assured me that he didn’t take much notice and that for him it was rather like dealing with a car. He was fascinated by the workings and just wanted to have a bit of a tinker and fix stuff. I fear for her love life.

Everyone wants to get their kit off. I blame that Gok bloke. The big word at the moment is “disrupt’. We are supposed to go about disrupting everything in some attempt to be clever. Well, we got rid of the suit some years back. Perhaps the next logical progression, if we have to search for new things to do, would be to get rid of clothes altogether. And let’s face it – it would seriously disrupt the workplace!

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